Social Butterfly's Purity Report

Purity

What is purity?
Keeping yourself set apart from something as in purity concerning marriage is when you keep yourself pure from kissing, dating, touch, and feelings with a person from the opposite gender.How can you keep pure?By standing strong on the rock (the Word of God a.k.a. The Bible) and not being led to temptation. I will admit that from seeing different experiences, noticing an attractive young man/woman isn’t a hard thing to do. The hard part is keeping unclean thoughts out of your mind and to keep yourself pure of lustful thinking.

Why keep yourself pure?
Because on your Wedding day, you want that first kiss to be special… wait, I am getting ahead of myself. Before that wedding day you must realize that courting is the best way to go but even before thoughts of courting flood your mind think on this; when you believe you have found the perfect man/woman you obviously think that then is the time to start “dating”. Hang on to your seats, I’m sorry but you’re wrong! “Dating” is a mess. It causes hurt feelings with breakup, and sometimes that person will use you for selfish purposes like trying to get an old girlfriend/boyfriend back or even that person may just like your company but have absolutely no feelings for you which will cause you to be emotionally hurt in the end of it all.

But I love him/her!
Another subject I would like to cover is emotion and feelings. It is true that hormones can start raging and you think you’re in love but you may have never even had a conversation with the person or you only know a little about them so you don’t truly know them well enough to even say you love them! That is what people today call a “crush”. When you have a “crush”, as people like to say is because, you like someone usually just because of their outside attractiveness which is for a wrong reason then. You shouldn’t look at people and judge them even if they look good because inside they could not be as great as you think. It’s like when you see a red apple and it looks delicious on the outside until you take a bite and realize it’s rotten on the inside!This is usually how you see “crushes” and “dating” work in those dramatic movies and shows now a day; they think they are the perfect couple for one another, both are all mushy and romantic when dating, she wears nice perfume and the guy actually showers more than once a week. Eventually (usually less than three weeks later) they believe they are in love and get married and apparently according to Hollywood they live “happily ever after”. Now let’s look at the story of what happens with REAL people: The beginning is closer to truth than you would think but here is where the problems develop; marriage. The first week or so they are so caught up in the honeymoon and being newlyweds that the little things don’t seem to matter but after a month they are miserable and hate each other! Now not always but most rushed marriages turn out for the worst. Why you ask? Because she didn’t realize what a temper he had because when “dating” he was so perfect and he pampered her so well but all of the sudden he is gone at work all day and comes home to fight and argue! Or it could be the other way around: she is a complete grouchy brat and gets on his nerves over every single little thing imaginable because she is a nit pick.Well it isn’t like my mate will know who I dated...True but here is the thing that is becoming common even on those goofy TV shows: the one thing that can really hurt someone is comparison and that can happen when your mate has “dated” probably about 20 girls/boys before you and keeps comparing you to some of them like this: John was more sensitive and careful with my feelings or Jane was prettier and she had a softer way of handling things.Almost everyone gets hurt when being compared to someone else better than them. If they don’t then the must have the peace of God.

We will always be together… yesterday he dumped me!
Another problem with ‘dating’ is the breakups and getting together with others. It’s true that one person could go through a 20 dates or boyfriends/girlfriends before they find the one because they thought that they knew or could help speed up the process by taking it into their own hands. Not only will the breakup hurt but then seeing that person will not be the same because you may carry that hurt with you forever! It’s best to keep all relationships with friends of the opposite gender “casual friendships”. You wouldn’t want to place yourselves alone somewhere so it would be best to be around other friends or families. That will help greatly in the life of anyone keeping their purity protected.How to prevent getting hurtHave you ever seen the series ‘Little House on the Prairie’ or a movie that is set back in the early 1900s? They did this wonderful thing called ‘Courting’. Here is how courting works; when a young man (unfortunately girls can’t speed up this process because usually their say doesn’t come until a bit later) has interest in a young woman, then he comes to her house or meets her parents somewhere and he asks permission to court their daughter. This is a great way to use your parents to literally filter through young men you know. Ask you parents what they think of a young man or woman and if the girl is absolutely sure she likes a young man then her parents could speak with him and see if he is interested in getting to know her. Back to the subject, parents are perfect because they notice the little stuff and characteristics that are bad or just may not suit you. Now I am not saying that your parents are judging a person because in the Bible that is a sin but they can show you things you may not have noticed or thought of like maybe like for example you may be interested in a young woman or young man but he/she has a temper and you are a sensitive young woman/man, that wouldn’t be a good mix because that would cause problems and hurt in the relationship. Once your parents have spoken with the young man and they find you both compatible with one another and you (if you’re a boy she) have/has interest in the young man also (that is where the young woman has a say), then the courting can begin. Now when you court you don’t go to the movies or go out for dinner because that is dating! Courting is when you both go to a church get together or maybe you both go to a friendly party with other friends, or you go to one another’s homes for dinner or a movie. You always want to be somewhere where there is no temptation to do anything you may regret.

So Basically what am I saying?
What I am saying is on your wedding day you want that first kiss to be SPECIAL (I know I already said that but it is a very important point!). You want your firsts to be actual firsts and they will be when you share them with your first love who will be your only love. Some of the firsts you may not think of are:First hug or holding of handsFirst love letter or I Love YouFirst dedication to someone other than immediate family And so much more!
You may not realize it but there a lot of firsts that you will want to share with your future mate. A song by BarlowGirl (a Christian band) called Average Girl puts it all perfectly and the lyrics go like this: ‘No more dating, I’m just waiting, like Sleeping Beauty, My Prince will come for me he will come for me, no more dating, I’m just waiting, because God is writing my love story!’ That song seems to be written just for us young woman (and young men) who are saving their kiss and many other firsts for that perfect someone God is preparing for you!There will be times where you will wish you had a boyfriend/girlfriend because you think it looks like fun or maybe your friend just got one and they are so happy or whatever the reason just remember that waiting for anything can be hard but God’s arms are the perfect place to run! I pray that after reading this, you will take it into consideration and hopefully make that wonderful decision to save your firsts for the person God is preparing for you.

Most Frequently Asked Questions

Q. So what made you decide to keep pure or what is your motivation?
A. The thought of having a perfect past that is clean for my future husband is just enough for me. I have been asked many times by different adults whether or not I have a boyfriend and I am always proud to say ‘no’ and they usually are pleased with my answer and say that they respect ME of all people because of that life decision. It may not seem like a big deal but too many kids are starting to have boyfriends/girlfriends way to young! They really shouldn't have them at all.

Q. What if you are 25 and you haven’t met the prepared mate that God is supposed to bring you?
A. Well it’s simple; either God is still working on my mate or God has better plans for me before marriage! He may need me to work in the Peace Core or be a Missionary in Australia first or maybe that is where my mate is. Also sometimes God has too many plans for your life and HE knows that married life would slow you down so you simply don’t need to have a mate.Q. It may be easy for you to keep pure because you are homeschooled. What do I do in public school?!?A. You pray hard and stand strong and believe me, you will gain the respect of your elders and the other young people around you.

Q. What is an easy reminder that I can visualize or see just to jog my memory every now and then?
A. For me I have a silver ring that has the word PURITY engraved in it. I wear it everyday and it reminds me that I am to keep pure because it is not only what God wants of me but it is also what I want too! A ring, necklace, or whatever you like can be a reminder. It could even be a picture of you with family that you can put on your wall or in your Bible to remind you every now and then.


There are two books I HIGHLY recommend you to read for more information on Purity;
The Bible by: God, our heavenly Father
Before You Meet Prince Charming by: Sarah Mally
Both of these books will help you to not only understand Purity but will make you want to keep pure! It sure worked for me and both books are definitely the king of books you need to own! : )

Blessings be on you all,

Social Butterfly